Someone told me once that women are not female men.  Truer words have never been spoken.  Having been married one month short of twenty five years, I feel I have earned the right to speak on the issue.  Knowing in advance the consequences of such actions, I nonetheless feel the need to vent.

Since we bought Maya about 18 months ago, we have been spending a fair amount of time cleaning, repairing and outfitting her.  Much of the effort has been focused on the engine room - the heart and soul of the ship.  Lets face it, if we can't get her off the dock, boating isn't going to be very much fun.  With that in mind, my contribution has been mostly mechanical in nature.  I've been down there sweating and bleeding, covered from head to toe with all kinds of fluids.  From hoses to filters,  from batteries to switches and from wiring to pumps, I have contributed a lot of sweat equity to this adventure.  While it has been a labor of love, it also has been a lot of work.  Knock on wood, we are coming down the home stretch on the mechanical rehabilitation of Maya.  It is my hope that in the future there will be more fun and less toil.

In my mind, the mechanical aspect of running the boat is by far the most important issue we have to deal with.  Since that part is just about behind us, I am ready to roll.  Anything else that needs done can wait for awhile.

Not so fast.  Since we have now completed the preliminary phase of boat ownership, it is time, I have been told, to move on to the secondary phase.

Decorating.

I have to be honest with you.  I do not understand a woman's need to decorate, redecorate, update and remodel.  It makes no sense to me.  When we purchased Maya, she was in great shape.  The previous owners had done a marvelous job with 'redecorating' and had just completed their project shortly before we signed the check.  Why we need to redo what they just redid is beyond me.  But after 25 years of wedded bliss,  I should know better than to ask questions like this.

First up is the curtains.... or should I say 'window treatments.'  Kim has had me hang lots of drapes over the years and I still cannot understand why they are now called 'window treatments'.  When did that happen?

So anyway, on my last visit to Maya, I had to remove the old 'treatments', count their pleats,  measure their height and width and then pack a sample from each cabin and bring them back home to Ohio.  I have been told that we need to do this in order to properly match the colors on the walls with the other fabrics throughout the boat.... fabrics which, no doubt are also going to be replaced.

Second up is the bedspread, although it is not called a "bedspread" anymore.  It now goes by one of several updated names such as "Comforter"  ...  "Duvet cover" ...  "Coverlets"  and  "Quilts."  It must be 'accessorized' with one or more "shams" "dust ruffles"  and "decorative pillows".  Coordination with all other aspects of color is the goal.

Kim dragged me a local department store a few weeks ago to look at possible alternatives.  "What do you think about the mauve?"  she asked me.

"The what?"  I asked.

"The mauve one.  Don't you know what that is?"

Just for the record, men can identify six or seven basic colors.  Red, blue, yellow, green, brown, purple, black and white are the colors in my world.  Mauve is not one of them.

So, in the interest of brevity, I said I liked the 'mauve', hoping to end the tortuous shopping trip as soon as humanly possible.  But it was not to be.  After a few seconds, Kim decided she didn't like the mauve either and we moved on.  Up and down the rainbow we went that day.  I learned about colors I didn't know existed.... and I read the newspaper everyday!

Here is a partial list of my new favorites:

Cinnabar     (red)
Fuscous      (brown)
Heliotrope   (purple)
Ochre          (light brown)
Periwinkle    (blue)
Primrose      (yellow)
Umber        (red)

In the end, we did buy something.  I am not sure if it is a coverlet or a duvet though.  I also don't know what color is it, although it looks light brown to me.  What I do know is that I hate shopping for fabrics and would give anything to not do it again.  I feel though that this is just the beginning.  We have many more rooms to go.  I am cyan just thinking about it.